34 Ways to Annoy the Creed
by L'Artista Brilliante
Summary: Nothing is true, everything is permitted...or is it? Geez, whoever thought that the last part wouldn't be that much of a big deal didn't give it much thought. If you want to know why, read this list that will blow your mind! Warnings about rating inside.


**I have this idea that I had incorporated into one of my other fanfics in a different genre. It's called "29 Ways to Annoy the Eternal Sonata Cast", and it was pretty popular in that section, so I thought, why not put something like that in this section? :D Thus, this was born.**

**I've actually had this idea typed up since the beginning of this year when I first started stalking the AC FF community, but I wasn't able to upload it to my old computer because for some reason, the uploading page was blocked by the parental control settings. So here you go! ;) And if you guys are curious, feel free to read "29 Ways to Annoy the Eternal Sonata Cast" if you also play Eternal Sonata.**

**Disclaimer: HUR HUR I'M ON SO I MUST HAVE BEEN THE BRAIN CHILD OF ASSASSIN'S CR—No. Anyway, Assassin's Creed belongs to Ubisoft, and the original idea of "34 Ways" actually belongs to Demoness Drakon, not me. So go shower her with compliments on how godly this idea is.**

**Warning: Rated T for mild violence, slight OOC, language, sexual references, mentions of alcohol, and random mishaps of crap-ocity.**

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1. Start doing the cha-cha dance around Altair.

2. Steal all of Leonardo's art supplies and hide them.

3. Tell him that Ezio stole them.

4. Wave a fake arm from a mannequin around Malik and say "Hey, I found your lost arm!"

5. Toss the arm into a nearby body of water when Malik starts chasing after it.

6. Replace the Animus with a massage chair.

7. Tell Desmond that the Animus got some significant "changes".

8. Spam Shaun's computer with constant pop-ups and some "questionable" memories that Desmond comes across when he was in the Animus.

9. Shove Altair into Malik.

10. Shove Ezio into Leonardo.

11. Shove Shaun into Desmond.

12. Watch their reactions and laugh at them.

13. Get the hell out of there when they organize a mob to lynch you.

14. Hide all of Shaun and Rebecca's technology.

15. Film the day that they both spend without their equipment.

16. Switch their computers when you're done.

17. Store the "questionable" memories of Desmond's ancestors and use it for blackmail when Desmond annoys you.

18. Awe in amaze about the Animus in front of Shaun.

19. When Shaun tells you that the Animus is overrated, tell him "Well at least I don't sit around on the computer all day doing nothing!"

20. Teach Altair's horse to stand on its hind legs whenever it sees turbans.

21. Laugh at Altair as he keeps getting thrown off his horse.

22. Put Ezio into a bull-riding stadium without his weapons and tell him to run around, making sure the red side of the cape is visible.

23. Watch him getting chased by a mad bull.

24. Question Ezio's sexuality. (He goes to brothels but spends an unusual amount of "intimate" time with Leonardo… o_O)

25. Question Altair's love/hate relationship with Malik.

26. Speak in a cheesy British accent around Shaun all day.

27. Steal Rebecca's headphones and see what happens.

28. Ask Altair why he mopes around like an emo, depressed kid all day. (Seriously, he acts like that…)

29. When Altair says he doesn't understand the question, show him a picture of Edward.

30. When either Altair or Ezio try to do the leap of faith, shout at them, "Don't look down! You might fall and hit your head and die and your brains would leak out **_all_** over!"

31. Play Party in the USA near pretty much any of the characters.

32. Steal Leonardo's flying machine and take for the ride in the middle of Venezia's marketplace. In the middle of the day.

33. Have some random poor, unattractive woman dress up as a courtesan and put her in front of Ezio.

34. Put a huge bottle of alcohol between them and watch the unthinkable happen.

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**Reviews are more than welcome. In fact, suggest a silly thing that should have been on this list, and I might compile it all into one big, happy, and even more fucked up list! xD**

**(Oh, and whoever can tell me the reference that #30 is from automatically gets 500 cookies.)**


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